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Case File 01.045

Caboose: What should I say?

Tucker: Just say whatever a girl would say.

Caboose: Uh, okay. Um, I uh just really want to meet someone nice. Um you know, someone who appreciates me for who I am. Not so much because I’m pretty but because they really want to get to know me because they want to find out what my interests are. Then we can spend time exploring the world and sharing all the wonderful things in life that make it wonderful.

Tucker: What? Do you know girls at all? Talk about how much you like shoes.

Church: Yeah, and about reality TV shows.

Tucker: Here, Church you start. Just hit on Caboose. Caboose, act like you like Church.

Caboose: I’ve been preparing for this role my whole life.

Tucker: Shut up. Okay, Church your girlfriend just got back to base. You see her and you say…

Church: Uh hey… hey there.

Caboose: Hello. Giggle. Blinking eye lashes. Puppy.

Church: Alright, I’m out. I can’t do this.

Tucker: Don’t be a baby. Caboose, stop making sound effects. You’re a girl now. Girls can’t make sound effects.

Caboose: Quietly angry.

Tucker: And stop narrating.

Caboose: Okay. Fine.

Tucker: There you go. That’s it. That’s a girl. Okay Church, hit it. Action.

Church: Uh uh hey uh what are you doing? What’s up? Uh uh, what’s up with what you’re doing?

Tucker: Smooth. Caboose.

Caboose: Okay, um, yes I was just sitting here thinking about shoes and celebrities that only have first names.

Tucker: Perfect.

Caboose: Actually if you want the truth, I feel like I have to say these things to make myself more appealing when I really think that I should jus-

Tucker: Stop it.

Caboose: Okay sorry. Okay sorry!

Tucker: Church, say something rebellious.

Church: Uh okay. I think the working class should uprise against the rich people.

Tucker: I said rebellious, not revolutionary.

Church: Oh okay. I drive a fast car over the speed limit. All the time.

Caboose: I will go with you anywhere.

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